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It is easy to think that we are doing others a favor, when we forgive them for the wrong they have done to us. But we should remember that forgiveness is as much a comfort to our own souls as it is to the ones we forgive. A wise person found a great solution to his constant grievances that others caused him. He looked at their good deeds and tried to find something to appreciate. Slowly he saw that his attitude changed and he started to understand and like them.

If you carry the hurt you are wasting useful energy to something unproductive. So forgive and relieve yourself off the load. It takes a few minutes to just forgive them for they know not. Communicate with those who hurt you. Start by a message that starts with “I”.

Say “I feel ……when you ……..”  and      “I want you to…….”

Therefore you are communicating to others in a non-threatening and peaceful way, what you feel and what you want to be done. It is very important that we communicate properly and at a right time with a right attitude.

This is called “I  MESSAGE”. It is one of the procedures in Conflict Resolution and you need to follow a few rules.

Be close to each other, within arm distance.

Look at each others eyes.

Speak one by one.

Clear the misunderstanding.

Forgive each other with a hand shake or a high five.

Say apology accepted.

The last but not the least part of this action is to forget, otherwise you are still carrying the burden.

“Be light as a light never heavy with weight of the hurts”

Janet Fanaian

Universal Human Value Education Facilitator

DRS International School

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